Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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