I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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