kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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