Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Text me some of your sweat
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
