Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
