Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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