I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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