overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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