my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
