i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Fuck appropriateness.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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