Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
