I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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