I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This gyro tastes like lonliness
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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