Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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