Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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