ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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