hotel room ftw
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
