i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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