my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
