Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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