So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
did i walk over a car last night?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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