I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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