So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
