At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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