When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
