Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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