you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She told me I should be a condom model.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
