So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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