note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
