fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize