Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My cat gives me a boner
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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