***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
now i know why i became what i already was.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
