you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
