So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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