How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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