She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
there is puke in my bra ... again
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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