I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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