So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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