she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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