my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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