guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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