apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
