you traded sex for a burrito?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I had to cum in my sink.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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