addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize