What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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