I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
