Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
