Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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