She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
