Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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