She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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