i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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