Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
