I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
