Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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