were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
