Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
