she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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