because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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