This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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