Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
