All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize