its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
