margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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