Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The best revenge is premature balding
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
