so explain again why im purple
no
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
