just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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