True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
