ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
