***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
