He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize