Someone shit on the floor
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
