some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
