You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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