come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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