if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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