It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
