Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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