Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
