girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
