you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We got so high we made milksteak
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
