Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
